Class and Attraction: why you are out of my “league”

For a very long time, i have thought about the reasons it bothered me when i heard people say they are attracted to men in tailored suits. Personally, i cringe when i hear/see it, yet i feel a longing and a sense of disappointment when i cannot meet this item on people’s checklist. i have never owned a tailored suit. i have owned one suit in my life and hate dressing up because of the lackluster final result. 

it makes me think about how we construct attraction around class status, while “dressing down” seems to be a way at humility, rather than a mockery of the financial limitations with which i live every day. 

what is attractive about a tailored suit? Does it have anything to do with the conditioning that comes along with the impacts of what that suit may mean or bring? the socialization surrounding men being providers, and what are the implications of perpetuating this..

It also begs the critique of how race plays into the implications of wearing a suit, so i also need to process how this plays into this conversation.

This is just coming from the cat that can’t afford your tailored suits..

the moon has my attention..

books i just ordered:

The Black Panther: Intercommunal News Service 1967-1980 | David Hilliard

We Want Freedom: A Life in the Black Panther Party | Mumia Abu-Jamal

Seize the Time: The Story of the Black Panther Party and Huey P. Newton Bobby Seale

friendship & sexuality

this past week, i have been thinking about the barriers our society views between friendship and sexuality/intimacy. as if these concepts are mutually exclusive. this plays out in many different ways:

  • The concept of the “friend zone”
  • not explicating feelings because it might “ruin the friendship’
  • difficulty being friends after breaking up as an intimate partnership (this one might be a bit more complicated than my point here)

it makes me think about the possible consequences this is having on intimate/sexual relationships. If friendships are to be void of sexuality and sensual intimacy, does this have consequences the other way around? are sexual and intimate relationships inherently void of friendship in how they play out?

Are there barriers within sexual/intimate relationships that prevent these people from cultivating true friendship because we have been socialized and conditioned to believe that our examples and definitions of friendship do not include sexuality/intimacy?

If so, what are the differences between friendship within an intimate/sexual relationship and friendship that is void of this sexuality/intimacy?


“when was the last time
you sat with yourself
in solitude..?”

Anonymous asked: What do you want to be when you grow up?

carefully dangerous.


for having been broken

just finished reading:

The Communist Manifesto | Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

at times

i am ashamed to admit

my energy remembers you,

your scent, touch;

still becomes intoxicated

at the thought of your existence

in my past chapters, 

pages referencing your glory

falling open,

often at the worst possible moments..


Current book list:

The War Before: The True Life Story of Becoming a Black Panther, Keeping the Faith in Prison, and Fighting for Those Left Behind | Safiya Bukhari

Black Power: Politics of Liberation in America | Kwame Ture & Charles V. Hamilton

Afeni Shakur: Evolution Of A RevolutionaryJasmine Guy

The Black Panthers Speak Philip S. Foner

Panther Baby | Jamal Joseph

Revolutionary Suicide | Huey P. Newton

To Die For The People | Huey P. Newton

Want to Start a Revolution?: Radical Women in the Black Freedom Struggle | Dayo F. Gore, Jeanne Theoharis, Komozi Woodard

The Black Power Movement: Rethinking the Civil Rights-Black Power Era | Peniel E. Joseph

Living for the Revolution: Black Feminist Organizations, 1968–1980Kimberly Springer

Living for the City: Migration, Education, and the Rise of the Black Panther Party In Oakland, CaliforniaDonna Murch

The Assassination of Fred Hampton: How the FBI and the Chicago Police Murdered a Black PantherJeffrey Haas

Liberation, Imagination, and the Black Panther Party: A New Look at the Panthers and Their Legacy | Kathleen Cleaver & George Katsiaficas

The Black Panther Party [Reconsidered] | Charles E. Jones

The Black Panther Party: Service to the People ProgramsThe Dr. Huey P. Newton Foundation

Soledad Brother: The Prison Letters of George Jackson | George Jackson

Black against Empire: The History and Politics of the Black Panther Party Joshua Bloom & Waldo E. Martin

A Taste of Power: A Black Woman’s Story | Elaine Brown


Not pictured above:

Liberated Territory: Untold Local Perspectives on the Black Panther Party | Yohuru Williams

In Search of the Black Panther Party: New Perspectives on a Revolutionary Movement | Jama Lazerow

This Side of Glory: The Autobiography of David Hilliard and the Story of the Black Panther Party | David Hilliard

Huey: Spirit of the Panther | David Hilliard


i told my brother,

“i love you, Ben.”


this may seem a bit trivial,

but it is something

i cannot remember

ever doing before..

“I don’t have a life of my own.
I’ve put myself and my life at the service of the people.
If necessity dictates I run, I run.. go to jail, I go to jail.. die, I die.
My private aspirations are exactly the general aspirations of the people.”

Yusuf Idris

updated reading list for the two semester independent study I am doing on the Black Panther Party.

also, I created a tumblr to document my readings and upload relevant quotes so if you would like to accompany me, feel free to follow.

The Blvck Pvnther.

My body
writes into your flesh
the poem
you make of me.

Touching you
I catch midnight
as moon fires
in my throat.

Audre Lorde, from Recreation

(Source: violentwavesofemotion, via ethiopienne)